{"id":2559,"date":"2020-08-04T23:35:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-04T23:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/?p=2559"},"modified":"2021-01-03T17:49:34","modified_gmt":"2021-01-03T17:49:34","slug":"cell-wall-bangers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/?p=2559","title":{"rendered":"Cell Wall Bangers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"SALWITAY - Cell Wall Bangers\" width=\"695\" height=\"391\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/YuFTUoUrp_Y?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>Tube containing a petrified vapor glyph, a form of writing used by ancient neophyte Cloudlings exclusively to express affection. The language includes 184 unique glyphs just representing distinct forms of appreciation for another Cloudling&#8217;s density. Though the original Cloudling culture that created these glyphs is largely extinct, mass produced vapor glyph souvenir sales account for over half of their planetary economy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHow long have we been waiting?\u201d Sully asked for the 11 millionth time in as many microfluid exchange pulses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt happens when it happens.\u201d Grant consoled. \u201cHow about some Bangers?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cMuuuuuuuh\u2026\u201d Sully muuuhed \u201c I guess. Yo, Randy- keep score\u201d Sully warped his southernmost perimeter wall to alert Randy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bangers was the only intercellular game known in wallverse, at least as far as everyone adjacent to Randy, Sully, and Grant were aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cServing!\u201d Grant said confidently as he tightened his spiral clusters to flatten his tendon membranes on Sully\u2019s side. He released a single corner tendon and started the wave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJerk!\u201d Sully began oscillating tubes at the opposite corner to Grant\u2019s release, then tried to correct but was late intercepting the wave and sloppily chased it across three adjacent membranes before finally poinking it out with well placed oscillation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSlow\u201d Randy muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo, dumb- he served on the wrong side.\u201d Sully defended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re dumb- there is no wrong side, you just always serve from the same side so you always lose- also you\u2019re slow.\u201d Randy jibed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cShut up- my serve!\u201d Sully griped. He aggressively tightened and snapped the same corner tendon he always served from. Grant poinked out the wave before a complete phase. Sully seethed and fluttered a tendon indicating he was ready for Grant\u2019s next serve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grant obliged and released a wave from a different corner. Sully misfired and sloppily chased it again. \u201cDude- you serve wrong!\u201d Sully complained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSul- that\u2019s the game man.\u201d Grant said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t do that when I serve!\u201d Sully defended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDumbass!\u201d Randy interjected, laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s just how Bangers works, you don\u2019t have to serve from the same side, not knowing where it comes from is what makes it hard.\u201d Grant explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s too hard, it\u2019s stupid. Make up a new game.\u201d Sully demanded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWhat? You make a new game, at least Grant made up something to do, you don\u2019t even play it right\u201d Randy said angrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cGuys, it\u2019s cool, I\u2019ll work on a new game.\u201d Grant said reassuringly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grant focused himself on making up a new game. He wasn\u2019t sure how to focus making one up because last time it was a complete epiphany, he was just poinking with his membranes and it came to him that he and his neighbors could engage one another for entertainment by manipulating patterns on their adjacent walls using a defined set of rules to acquire points.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No one had ever heard of such a thing. It took some time to explain even the basic concept to his neighbors. Up to that point they had simply been aware of one another and exchanged whatever information was necessary to conduct intercellular business. Grant\u2019s game was an instant hit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Randy said that the neighbor opposite Grant said that the game was causing a lot of problems in some regions by distracting people from their duties, and in others it had caused all out intercellular warfare. But Sully said that was probably just gossip because his neighbor said nobody even liked the game because when people played it right it was over too soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAre you done with the new game yet?\u201d Sully inquired incessantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t really have any ideas.\u201d Grant said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJust do what you did last time.\u201d Sully suggested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grant didn\u2019t see the point in explaining the problem with that suggestion, so he just went back to poinking his membranes for inspiration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After a while Grant started to become bored, which he was used to. But he also became frustrated with his boredom, which was kind of new. Frustration just isn\u2019t something cells are equipped to deal with individually. Cells have a well defined function and very little incentive to think beyond it. There shouldn\u2019t be much to be frustrated about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt was easier before I made up the game.\u201d Grant said aloud, though he wasn\u2019t sure who he was addressing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYeah, but it keeps things interesting.\u201d Randy offered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNot really.\u201d Sully added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWere things not interesting before?\u201d Grant pondered. He genuinely couldn\u2019t remember if he\u2019d ever even thought about whether things were interesting before the game. He only knew they were less interesting after the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWaiting isn\u2019t very interesting.\u201d Randy replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo- it\u2019s basically the same.\u201d Sully corrected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSo what if we just- stop waiting.\u201d Grant proposed. A heavy, confused silence ensued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLike, play another game?\u201d Randy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo- just, stop waiting. Do it, do what we\u2019re waiting to do.\u201d Grant clarified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDude?\u201d Sully said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDude&#8230;\u201d Randy agreed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>More silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not time, Grant. We wait until it\u2019s time, it\u2019s what we do.\u201d Randy assured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBut we haven\u2019t been waiting- we\u2019ve been poinking, and that\u2019s been more interesting than waiting, so maybe waiting is the real problem.\u201d Grant surprised even himself with such a graceful leap of logic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s insane.\u201d Sully retorted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSo was Bangers, remember? You said it was insane, now we play it all the time.\u201d Grant said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s different, that\u2019s just doing something while you wait. We\u2019re still waiting.\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t expect you to understand, I- just see things other cells don\u2019t. Like the game. I saw it when no one else ever had.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOkay- that was a good one. We all love Bangers, but dude- we still have to wait.\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grant thought about it for a long time. Randy had always seemed intelligent enough, but maybe this was just the limit of his imagination. Grant knew what he knew. He wasn\u2019t sure how, but he knew it. And he had the confidence of a cell who had once redefined cellular life as he knew it. Seemed perfectly reasonable that the same cell could redefine it again, and also reasonable that no other cell could understand like he did. So there was nothing for Grant to do but show them. It\u2019s what visionaries do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So with perfect certainty in his genius and purpose, Grant stopped waiting. The cacophony of objections from adjacent cells was quickly overwhelmed by their instinctual sympathetic contractions. Each cell sequentially smashed membranes against bladders and tiny floods of chemicals washed over one another initiating a maelstrom of reactions through parts of the cellverse Grant had never even heard of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just then, deep in a subterranean nuclear forest within an asteroid orbiting a rogue planet, a bubble of carbon crab flatulence rose from a pool of lithium.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cHow long have we been waiting?\u201d Sully asked for the 11 millionth time in as many microfluid exchange pulses. \u201cIt happens when it happens.\u201d Grant consoled. \u201cHow about some Bangers?\u201d \u201cMuuuuuuuh\u2026\u201d Sully muuuhed \u201c I guess. Yo, Randy- keep score\u201d Sully warped his southernmost perimeter wall to alert Randy. Bangers was the only intercellular game <a href='http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/?p=2559' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2559"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2559"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2560,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2559\/revisions\/2560"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}