{"id":1001,"date":"2007-10-05T10:00:34","date_gmt":"2007-10-05T10:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/?p=1001"},"modified":"2011-08-21T09:01:19","modified_gmt":"2011-08-21T09:01:19","slug":"blinded-with-science-war-on-wires","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/?p=1001","title":{"rendered":"Blinded with Science – War on Wires"},"content":{"rendered":"

*originally printed in Red Shtick Magazine – October, 2007<\/a> (pdf<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Wires suck. They tangle. People trip over them. Animals gnaw on them. Musicians lose\u00a0them. Nerds collect them.<\/p>\n

We need wires to connect things that need to be connected. How do we connect things\u00a0without wires? We also use wireless to connect things that need to be connected. We have\u00a0two options when it comes to connectivity: wires and wireless. Seems like there should be a\u00a0third option, but that’s pretty much it. From there, we just have to work on making more\u00a0things wireless.<\/p>\n

Researchers at MIT discovered an effect that allows them to send electrical power across\u00a0short distances without wires. They discovered it shortly after they realized it would be really\u00a0popular to do so, even though it had been discovered a long time ago.<\/p>\n

They are using magnetic induction with a twist. Magnetic induction is the same effect used in\u00a0everyday electrical transformers as well as larger, cooler Transformers like Bumblebee and\u00a0Starscream. The twist is their utilization of magnetically coupled resonators to transmit\u00a0power farther and more efficiently. This effect is best known for allowing the MCP to\u00a0transfer its power to Sark in an attempt to delete the security program Tron.<\/p>\n

The benefits of this technology are obvious. The nightmare of wall-warts, adapters, splitters,\u00a0converters, and connectors is finally over. Soon we will live in an inductive dream world of\u00a0resonantly coupled bliss. These power systems have been dubbed WiTricity, and they are\u00a0poised to rejuvenate the dying industry of overpriced consumer electronics.<\/p>\n

There is some cause to be wary of this new technology. The hype surrounding WiTricity\u00a0smacks of \u201cfree energy.\u201d In the past, we have been taunted by madmen claiming discoveries\u00a0of \u201cfree energy,\u201d which makes about as much sense as free love. Don’t bank on it, baby.\u00a0Nikola Tesla was the most infamous of these freeloading charlatans. Tesla was a\u00a0contemporary of American patriot and pet electrocutioner Thomas Edison, who totally hated\u00a0Tesla’s Serbo-Croatian guts.<\/p>\n

Though Tesla invented the radio, everyone bought them from a guy named Marconi, pretty\u00a0much because Tesla was annoying and weird. Tesla also invented some ridiculous thing\u00a0called multiphase alternating current, which just sounds stupid. Tesla had a solution for\u00a0wireless power, but his final solution was about as ominous as you would expect from a\u00a0kooky, mustached villain.<\/p>\n

In his later years, Nikola Tesla became a criminal psychopath. He created the infamous\u00a0WardenclyffeTower, also known as Castle Grayskull.\u00a0Included in Tesla’s life of ravings are notions of utilizing the resonant conduction of earth\u2019s\u00a0ionosphere to freely distribute the abundant source of electrostatic energy it contains. That’s\u00a0some of the craziest nonsense I’ve ever read, and I just wrote it, so I know what I’m talking\u00a0about.<\/p>\n

Tesla used the WardenclyffeTower to demonstrate that his ion voodoo actually worked and\u00a0that free distribution of abundant energy is feasible. Thomas Edison was smart enough to\u00a0know that the only free distribution of energy should be through the electric chairs he\u00a0invented, marketed, and enthusiastically demonstrated the effects of on God\u2019s cutest, fuzziest\u00a0creatures.<\/p>\n

The first law of thermodynamics relates to the conservation of energy. From an economic\u00a0standpoint, energy is conserved when not everyone can pay for it. Thermodyneconomics is a\u00a0combined discipline that has reached the conclusion that free energy is complete B.S.,\u00a0because if you give something away for free, then nobody makes any money.<\/p>\n

Violating the first law of thermodyneconomics is why Tesla died destitute and forgotten.\u00a0Edison knew how to make money. Tesla only knew how to make trouble, and uniquely\u00a0ingenious inventions. Tesla’s wireless electricity lacked the fundamental necessity that is the\u00a0mother of modern invention: a method by which it can be utilized to make rich people richer,\u00a0or at least not threaten the basis for their existing wealth.<\/p>\n

WiTricity was developed by market-savvy engineers who know that accessibility should be\u00a0inversely proportional to expense. Wirelessly powered devices cannot draw power from a\u00a0source unless precisely tuned to do so. This engineered obstruction will allow companies like\u00a0Macintosh to develop small, utopian communities in which only people who have registered\u00a0iHearts and iLungs may live and breathe.<\/p>\n

This new technology is headed in the right direction. We’re going to leave behind the world\u00a0of expensive, proprietary cables and adapters and enter a new world of expensive, proprietary\u00a0transmitters and receivers. With this new technology, we can power our world while knowing\u00a0even less about where the power comes from or whose life it’s ruining to create it.<\/p>\n

Innovation, ingenuity, and marketability are American moral values, and WiTricity proves\u00a0that American nerds are still the best nerds in the world, especially foreign-born ones like the\u00a0ones that invented WiTricity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*originally printed in Red Shtick Magazine – October, 2007 (pdf) Wires suck. They tangle. People trip over them. Animals gnaw on them. Musicians lose\u00a0them. Nerds collect them. We need wires to connect things that need to be connected. How do we connect things\u00a0without wires? We also use wireless to connect things that need to be […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[39],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1001"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1001"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1001\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1012,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1001\/revisions\/1012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/funkboxing.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}